


a lot of words

by orphan_account



Category: Original - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:40:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22394917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: i just wanted to rant this all out you know
Kudos: 1





	a lot of words

i’m so so scared that things will repeat themselves   
i’ve learned that’s the nature of life   
people make the same mistakes   
over and over again  
learning new solutions and yet still falling into old habits   
i’m not particularly good a metaphors (at all) but it’s almost like someone’s climbing a mountain and they can see the top. but i would be so much easier to just let go and fall  
i don’t want to fall, or slip up  
i can’t   
i can’t say or do the wrong things anymore  
there’s consequences now   
there are people that can and will get hurt  
and those people aren’t going to sit there and let it happen either   
it’s a blessing and a curse, really  
it means they care  
but i’m used to people not caring   
it also means they won’t leave me if i were to mess up  
but i’m so used to people leaving that it doesn’t feel real  
i don’t know how to navigate this  
and i don’t know who i would ask for advice  
that’s so pathetic too

so the moral of the story here is i have an unnecessary amount of anxiety and self doubt and it’s all coming together now and i feel clueless   
i feel like a lot of things  
i feel stupid and lost  
and i feel amazing at the same time   
everything is so new and my anxiety is going fucking crazy over it  
but it’s also really cool, as terrifying as it is  
and if my brothers can do it, then so can i

i’m not sure what the point of this whole thing was   
i’m not sure if a lot of things actually  
but i know one thing:  
repetition is the nature of life  
but so is change


End file.
